Being the True Account of the Life of William Shakespeare, performed by Mr. William Beeston, Gent., and his Troop of Alchemical Spirits, at Posbrook Farm, Titchfield, Hampshire, in the Year of Our Lord, 1623.
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BEESTON
Later that year, I was down here at Posbrook, reading those very Sonnets, in this very chair, when, late at night, there came a knock at the door…..
(BEESTON gets up from the table and exist. Off)
Look who the cat’s brought in! Come on in. Get yourself warm.
(SHAKESPEARE enters with BEESTON. He is wrapped in a cloak. BEESTON places SHAKESPEARE near the alchemical furnace)
BEESTON
We never thought we’d see you here again….
SHAKESPEARE
I never thought I’d be here.
BEESTON
Cheese? Cider? Molly’s a bit past it now….
SHAKESPEARE
No thanks, Will. I can’t stay long. (Stands and sees the volume of Sonnets on BEESTON’s table) I see you’re reading it….
BEESTON
Reading it! Everyone’s reading it! Trixie the Cat’s reading it….
SHAKESPEARE
And Harry?
BEESTON
It’s his copy….
SHAKESPEARE
He used to mark the lines he liked best…..
(SHAKESPEARE snatches it up and looks through to see if there are any markings…There are none. He looks at BEESTON)
BEESTON
The spine cracked when I opened it….(A knife to SHAKESPEARE’S heart) Well, he’d read most of them before. And little James is taking up a lot of his time…(Another knife)
SHAKESPEARE
You think I’m a bastard, don’t you?
BEESTON
Yes.
SHAKESPEARE
And I should never have published them….
BEESTON
No. They are the most sublime things I’ve ever read. Sublime, but toxic….
SHAKESPEARE
He deserved it….
BEESTON
Toxic for you. (SHAKESPEARE looks startled. BEESTON picks up the volume and looks through, quoting) ‘As a decrepit father takes delight’, ‘Like a deceived husband’, ‘Being your slave’….Will, you were none of these things. You were Will Shakespeare and he was Harry Southampton. Once you had something to give each other. Now you don’t…
SHAKESPEARE
(Rising to go) He took everything….
BEESTON
He gave you £1,000 pounds! (SHAKESPEARE looks shocked). Everyone knows, Will. Everyone. Without him, you’d never have written a single Sonnet….Look, I’m a fat old fart. But I do know this. Yesterday’s happiness is an old, worn out glove….(Both men smile) Get a new one, Will. Get a new one. Now I can’t give you a Sonnet to take with you on your journey – but I can give you a nice lump of cheese.
(BEESTON cuts a piece of cheese from a block. As he does so, SHAKESPEARE looks at BEESTON’s alchemical furnace)
SHAKESPEARE
Still wasting your time on this?
BEESTON
(Full of enthusiasm) I tell you, Will, it really works. (BEESTON leaves the cheese and rushes behind the screen to put on his robe) Let me summon up my spirits for you…
(BEESTON emerges in full regalia)
SHAKESPEARE
(Looking BEESTON up and down with a professional’s contempt) I’d rather leave it to my imagination, thanks…
BEESTON
(Taking off his robes and putting them on his table) Will. You really take the cheese. (Pause) So take the cheese!
(BEESTON gives SHAKESPEARE the lump of cheese)
SHAKESPEARE
(As he goes, he blesses BEESTON, making the sign of the cross) Bless you, Apis Lapis….
BEESTON
You’re still a Papist?
SHAKESPEARE
Of course.
BEESTON
Why?
SHAKESPEARE
Think what a monster I’d be I’d be if I wasn’t. (SHAKESPEARE exits)
BEESTON
(Picking up the Sonnets. Music)
Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds
Nor bends with the remover to remove…’
(BEESTON walks behind screen – then re-emerges without his alchemical regalia)
BEESTON
John Davenant (DAVENANT enters) was a wine-merchant who ran the Crown Tavern in Oxford.
He was a grave, sophisticated man who spoke several languages and who liked plays and playwrights. He had a beautiful, witty wife, called Jennet (enter JENNET) whom he loved (DAVENANT kisses JENNET) and who loved him. (JENNET kisses him back)
On his way to Stratford, Will used to stay at the Crown. His plays were often performed in Oxford and one night he went with John and his wife to see a comedy….
(SHAKESPEARE enters and sits between DAVENANT and JENNET. ACTOR playing LAUNCE enters with a dog)
(During LAUNCE’S speech, JENNET laughs away and SHAKESPEARE is clearly pleased – but he begins to notice with alarm that DAVENANT isn’t laughing. He’s not even smiling)
LAUNCE (with dog)
I think that Crab my dog be the sourest natured dog that lives. My mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, Trixie the cat wringing her hands and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear. He is a stone. A very pebble stone and has no more pity in him than a dog. A Jew would have wept to see our parting. (SHAKESPEARE looks nervously at DAVENANT – still no laughter) Why my grandma, having no eyes, look you wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I’ll show you the manner of it…This shoe is my father. No this left shoe is my father, nay that cannot be so either. Yes it is, So it is. It hath the worser sole….( Exit LAUNCE. Applause. Lights up.)
DAVENANT
Jennet, could you leave us a moment….
(JENNET bobs to her husband and leaves the two men – an awkward pause)
SHAKESPEARE
John. Can I make a confession? (Silence) I didn’t write all that crap about Crab the dog. Tom Nashe did…. (More silence)….
He’s dead now….He’s the one who was anti-semitic, not me….I created Shylock, remember…
DAVENANT
Can I make a confession?
SHAKESPEARE
Of course.
DAVENANT
I thought it was funny. I just never laugh…..Never have done. Never will….(Silence) Trouble is, I like being with funny people. That’s why I run a tavern. I get them drunk so they don’t notice I’m not laughing…. (Silence) Can I make another confession? Jennet and I can’t have children…
SHAKESPEARE
Sorry to hear that…I had wondered…
DAVENANT
But the doctor says she could have children with someone else….Your son’s dead. Would you like another?
SHAKESPEARE
Of course I would but…(It gradually dawns on SHAKESPEARE what DAVENANT means)
DAVENANT
I love your plays. I’d love my son to have just a smidgeon of your talent. I’d call him ‘Will’ so everyone would know….
SHAKESPEARE
But what about Jennet?
DAVENANT
She’s in agreement. She adores you, Will. Like me.
SHAKESPEARE
But how would you feel about….
DAVENANT
(He pauses) Some loves run very deep… (Calling) Jennet….(JENNET appears, shyly) Jennet, it’s a done deal.
(JENNET approaches SHAKESPEARE and kisses him gently on the cheek. DAVENANT shakes him by the hand)
DAVENANT
Cousin Will….
(DAVENANT exits. JENNET kisses SHAKESPEARE more passionately then whispers something in SHAKESPEARE’S ear)
BEESTON
Jennet swore she would only sleep with Will and her husband…but she was a beautiful woman, desperate for a child, in a city full of handsome young undergraduates. Would she be content with occasional visits from Will?
(JENNET withdraws)
SHAKESPEARE
(Looking after her, then crossing to a couch and starting to undress)
When my love swears that she is made of truth
I do believe her, though I know she lies,
That she might think me untutor’d youth,
Unlearned in the world’s false subtlelties.
(Takes out a hand mirror and combs what’s left of his hair)
Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young
Although she knows my days are past the best,
Simply I credit her false-speaking tongue….
On both sides thus is simple truth suppress’d.
But wherefore says she not she is unjust?
And wherefore say not I that I am old?
(Puts his hand-mirror away)
Oh, love’s best habit is in seeming trust
And age, in love, love’s not to have years told…
(JENNET re-appears in a slip. SHAKESPEARE motions to her to join him on the couch)
Therefore I lie with her, and she with me
And in our faults, by lies, we flattered be…..
(The two kiss and start to make love. Slow exit to music, via trapdoor)
TO READ THE CONCLUDING EPISODE TEN, PLEASE CLICK: HERE.
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