The Shakespeare Code

 OUR COUSIN WILL

 An Interlude

 Being the True Account of the Life of William Shakespeare, performed by Mr. William Beeston, Gent., and his Troop of Alchemical Spirits, at Posbrook Farm, Titchfield, Hampshire, in the Year of Our Lord, 1623.

 Re-created by Stewart Trotter

 © Stewart Trotter.  14th August, 2012

This is Episode One of  OUR COUSIN WILL – a stage-play in Two Acts. More Episodes will follow.

The Play has been ‘workshopped’ at Titchfield and in London and is fully copyrighted.

SIMON CALLOW……

….as kind enough to read an early draft of the play and pronounced it…..

a delight…..

The distinguished actor director and teacher , ANDREW JARVIS….

…took part in a recent read-through of the play in London and wrote to Stewart Trotter…

I think your play is wonderful. I thought it read absolutely beautifully – and it was a joy to be part of….

THE PERFORMING RIGHTS, WORLD-WIDE, ARE NOW AVAILABLE.

TRANSLATION RIGHTS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE

If your company is interested in performing the piece, please leave your contact details for Stewart Trotter at ‘Leave a Comment’ at the foot of the post. These details will not be published and will be treated in the utmost confidence.

OUR COUSIN WILL is in the form of an ‘Interlude’ – an entertainment which was popular in Elizabethan times.

Interludes told stories and were often performed in private houses. They included direct address to the audience, stand-up comedy, satire, dancing, poetry, singing, philosophy, debate and spectacle. Women would take part in the shows and entrances were often through the audience itself.

William Beeston really existed, really lived at Posbrook Farm, really practised alchemy and, the author believes, really was the model for Falstaff. The author also believes this ‘Life of Shakespeare’ to be, in essence, true. It is based on research he carried out for his 2002 book, Love’s Labour’s Found……

…… and which he has continued in his widely-read blog, The Shakespeare Code. (Over 75,000 Views)

But the play’s the thing and, in total disregard of the absurd theory that a writer’s life has no relation to his work, it draws on much of Shakespeare own writing to make its point…

Alchemy was regarded as a Science in William Shakespeare’s day and many of the greatest ‘Scientists’ of the age – like Dr. John Dee……..

……..practised it and summoned up spirits and angels to help them in their task. Dr. Dee claimed he had produced alchemical gold and Queen Elizabeth’s Treasury even had a Department of Alchemy which attempted to produce gold coins…

But this entertainment also examines the massive hold the Roman Catholic Church held over intellectuals, writers and artists….

And continues to hold…

OUR COUSIN WILL, in this draft, is cast in its optimum form – requiring trap-door, flies and access from the stage to the audience. But it can easily be adapted to a smaller, fringe theatre form – indeed, can even be performed, with doubling, by a cast as small as 8 or 9. The rôle of Shakespeare should be played by two actors – a younger and an older. The older actor should wear a fat suit for the first and last scenes of the Interlude.

The performers are, as we shall see, Spirits who can change their shape and appearance at will….

All you need is the service of a first-rate magician….                             S. T.

EPISODE ONE

 Will Beeston’s den at Posbrook Farm, Titchfield, Hampshire, 1623…….

Night-time. Beeston, a Falstaff look-alike, sits at a table, down right, as the audience comes in.  Lute music.

 Beeston is reading Shakespeare’s Sonnets by candlelight, drinking cider from a tankard and eating cheese. He is clearly relishing all three. His table is packed with parchments, quills and books. By his side is an easel, stacked with paintings, with the Chandos painting of Shakespeare at the top…..

Behind Beeston is a screen.

 Beeston  has bookshelves crammed with books and walls hung with paintings and painted cloths. All around are barrels, vats, cheese presses and a big, farmhouse table.

 Sometimes Beeston goes to the window to look out on the moonlit night.  He is expecting something…

 Sometimes he acknowledges someone arriving in the audience…

 Sometimes he helps himself to more cider from a huge barrel…

 Sometimes he cuts himself some more cheese.

 Sometimes he offers cider and cheese to a member of the audience he knows.

 Suddenly there is a knock at the door. BEESTON, delighted, says ‘Excuse me’ and walks to the off-stage door…

 BOY’S VOICE (off stage)

 Parcel for Beeston.  Sixpence to pay….

 (We hear BEESTON groan, pay up and slam the door. He walks back into the den, hugging a large parcel. Another knock at the door. BEESTON walks off stage again)

  BOY’S VOICE (off stage)

 And tuppence porterage. It’s sixty miles from London. And a dark night.

 (BEESTON groans even louder and slams the door even harder)

 BOY’S VOICE (departing)

Wouldn’t like to go drinking with you….

 (BEESTON returns and opens the parcel. It is a big book. BEESTON holds it aloft like a Bible, then kneels and kisses it)

 BEESTON

 It’s finally made it to Hampshire, Ladies and Gentlemen. Hot off the press. (Opens the book and reads) ‘Mr. William Shakespeare’s Comedies, Histories and Tragedies. Printed by Isaac Jaggard and Edward Blount, 1623’

 (He shows the audience the frontispiece, with the engraved portrait of SHAKESPEARE…..

……then reads from the book again)

This figure that thou here sees’t put,

It was for gentle Shakespeare cut:

Wherein the graver had a strife

With Nature to outdo the life:

O, could he have but drawn his wit

As well in brass, as he hath hit

His face, the print would then surpass

All that was ever writ in brass.

But since he cannot, reader, look

Not on his picture, but his book…..’

I’ve invited you all down to my den at Posbrook Farm, not to look on Will’s picture. Not even to look on Will’s book. I want you to do something far more dangerous.

(BEESTON puts the First Folio carefully on his table)

I want you to look on his life.

He’s seven years dead. And already the lies have started to ferment. Some half-bakes are even proclaiming that his plays were written by some old Lord…

I want to tell you the TRUTH about Will before I die myself.

I knew him well. Perhaps too well….

My name is Will Beeston, pig-breeder, poetry lover, wine merchant, cheese-maker and man of science.

 (BEESTON goes behind the screen)

Freed from the shackles of Medieval Theology and Papist Superstition, (emerging from behind the screen in full magus robes and staff) I AM AN ALCHEMIST!

 

(BEESTON points his staff at a dark corner of the room. There is a huge explosion and a flash.  An alchemical furnace bursts into life and a limbeck, full of gold coloured liquid, starts to bubble on top.  BEESTON laughs)

 

BEESTON

Please don’t be frightened of this new technology. It can be very lucrative indeed. The liquid in the limbeck is pure gold – produced last night with the aid of my homunculi – alchemical spirits I can summon up at will…

(BEESTON bangs his staff on the ground. To music, the limbeck, still glowing and bubbling, rises up from the furnace and slowly circles the room an, if possible, the auditorium)

And dismiss at will.

 (BEESTON bangs his staff again – and the limbeck returns to the furnace – and settles on the top. The light dies down)

My spirits can also take on human shape – well, almost human shape – and tonight they will recount the story of Will’s life…

…..IN THE FORM OF AN INTERLUDE!

Sometimes I will take a part in the Interlude myself….

 (BEESTON bangs his staff on the floor to summon up the SPIRIT playing the OLDER SHAKESPEARE)

Shakespeare arise! Be dust no more….

 (Music and rumblings.  OLDER SHAKESPEARE enters, through smoke, via  a trapdoor. He looks fat and is wearing flashy clothes……

……but, like all BEESTON’S  SPIRIT performers, does not look entirely human…)

 SHAKESPEARE

(Looking down at his bulk and sighing)

Dust!

 BEESTON

(Smugly) Will Shakespeare, when he got to his forties, got very fat. He had spent a fortune on food and drink and clothes….

(SHAKESPEARE crosses himself and kneels)

But, being an unreconstructed Papist, was worried about the state of his soul…

 (BEESTON pronounces the word ‘soul’ with a scientist’s distaste, then  disappears behind the screen)

 SHAKESPEARE

Poor soul! The centre of my sinful earth…..

(Looking down again  at his clothes and bulk)

Feeding these rebel powers that thee array,

Why dost thou pine within and suffer dearth,

Painting thy outward walls so costly gay….?

 BEESTON

 (Poking his head out from behind the screen)

Poor old Will was slapping paint on the walls of a building that was falling apart….

(BEESTON disappears again behind the screen)

SHAKESPEARE

Why so large cost, having so short a lease,

Dost thou upon thy fading mansion spend?

Shall worms, inheritors of this excess

Eat up thy charge? Is this thy body’s end?

 BEESTON

 (Re-entering, having changed out of his magus robes)

Will resolved to starve his body to feed his soul….And lead a religious life….

 (BEESTON has complete contempt for orthodox ’ religion’)

 SHAKESPEARE

Then soul, live thou upon thy servant’s loss,

And let that pine to aggravate thy store;

Buy terms divine in selling hours of dross:

Within be fed, without be rich no more….

(SHAKESPEARE gets more and more excited and rises to his feet)

So shalt thou feed on death, that feeds on men,

And death once dead….

(Holding up his dyed cloak)

THERE’S NO MORE DYEING THEN!!!

(BEESTON claps. SHAKESPEARE speedily exits down the trapdoor)

 BEESTON

 Did Will conquer death? Did he lead a religious life? Or was it all just another one of his jokes? To-night, Ladies and Gentleman, my spirits and I will reveal all!

(Looking at audience)

 But I can see some whipper-snappers out there who weren’t even born when Good Queen Bess was on the throne….So I’d better fill them in….

(He takes the easel to the centre of the stage) When baby Will was born, (taking painting ofShakespeare off the easel to reveal painting of Queen Elizabeth underneath. A rack, attached to the easel, catches the paintings when they have been shown) Elizabeth had been our Queen for six years.

 

(Takes painting of Elizabeth off easel, revealing Henry VIII) 

Henry VIII was her father. (Takes painting of Henry down, revealing Anne Boleyn)  Anne Boleyn, his second wife, was her mother.

 Henry chopped off Anne’s head (BEESTON knocks painting of Anne Boleyn off the easel – revealing Jane Seymour beneath)

…..and married four more times.

 (Knocks down the paintings in quick succession)

Divorced. (Jane Seymour down. Anne of Cleves up)

Divorced. (Anne of Cleves down. Kathryn Howard up)

Beheaded. (Kathryn Howard down. Katharine Parr up)

Died…

 But this last wife, Katherine Parr, wormed her way into Elizabeth’s brain. Katherine was a crypto Protestant, a follower of John Calvin……..

……who believed that…

CALVIN

(Entering at the back of the auditorium and making his way to the stage) God knows EXACTLY what you have done….God also knows EXACTLY what you are going to do. He decided, long before you were born, whether you are going to heaven or hell….If you are going to heaven, he has given you wealth, joy and power….If, however, you are going to hell, he has given you debt, misery and servitude…But take comfort, brothers and sisters. (Turning to go) There’s nothing you can do about it.  Nothing at all.

(CALVIN exits)

BEESTON (who has cleared the easel)

King Henry was succeeded by his young son, Edward, who was a Protestant. Then Bloody Mary who was a Catholic. (To BEESTON Catholics and Protestants are equally deluded) She believed that the more Protestants she burnt the more likely it was that God would make her pregnant. Terrified that Princess Elizabeth was after her throne, she sent her to the Tower. By way of Traitors’Gate….

(SPIRIT playing young ELIZABETH enters)

BEESTON

Elizabeth prayed to God to help her….

(ELIZABETH kneels and prays: an ANGEL flies down with a crown)

BEESTON

So when she was released and crowned Queen of England, (ANGEL places crown on her head) she thought….

ELIZABETH

(Rising) God must be a Protestant!

(BEESTON Claps. ELIZABETH exits. ANGEL reverses back up to heaven)

BEESTON

So Elizabeth set out to destroy Popery in England. For ever…

Will Shakespeare’s father, John, a Papist, had….

(Enter JOHN SHAKESPEARE with a pottle pot of ale)

JOHN SHAKESPEARE

…..seen it all before. (Sitting) Edward turned us all into Proddies….Queen Mary, bless her, (crosses himself) turned us all back into Papists….( takes a swig of ale) Now Elizabeth wants us to be Proddies all over again….It’ll blow over…..Always does…Old England’s the land of the Old Faith….

(Goes to cross himself and take a swig of ale, but mixes the actions up)

Look, I HAVE to drink this stuff. I’m official Taster of Ale to the County! (Turns to go, butreturns). Now, if any of you needs to borrow a bit of money from old John in these difficult times, just drop into to my (drawing a glove from his pocket and smiling at it lasciviously)‘glove’ shop…

 BEESTON (smiling)

For the benefit of any innocent out there, gloves can be a wonderful contraceptive. Chevril gloves in partic’lar….(Shivers in excitement)

(JOHN SHAKESPEARE exits.)

Will’s mother, Mary Arden, came from one of the oldest Papist families in the land….When Will was a boy, his uncle Edward had his coddes cut off (BEESTON looks down at his genitals and shudders) and his guts and heart ripped out, just for saying his prayers in Latin.

But Edward’s real crime had been to attack ‘The Bear’ – Robert Dudley, the Earl of Leicester. He was the secret lover of ‘The Moon’ – Queen Elizabeth herself. He built a FairyCastle for her – Kennilworth – not a morning’s ride from Stratford-upon-Avon. When she came to call, all the clocks would be stopped. Then the Moon would shine on the Bear for days on end….

The Bear’s henchman was Sir Thomas Lucy, M.P. and sadist. His ambition was to invent a way of killing Papists more painful than chopping them up alive. John Shakespeare’s son, Will, an eccentric boy, full of songs and fun…..(YOUNG SHAKESPEARE, thin and eager, enters singing and dancing)….took his revenge on Sir Thomas by poaching his hares…(YOUNG SHAKESPEARE produces two dead hares from behind his back)

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

Nicked!

(TWO HENCHMAN enter. One punches YOUNG SHAKESPEARE in the stomach who doubles up in pain. The other knees SHAKESPEARE in the face)

HENCHMEN

(With their hands on YOUNG SHAKESPEARE’S shoulders)

Nicked!

(THE HENCHMEN lead YOUNG SHAKESPEARE off)

BEESTON

Sir Lucy whipped the young lad till he was bloody mess….

He was sent, for his own safety, to Lancashire, to a posh old Papist family.There he learnt how to fit in with aristocrats…..

(BEESTON, strikes an aristocratic pose. YOUNG SHAKESPEARE enters and strikes an identical pose. MUSIC underneath this scene – like a speeded up Silent Movie)

……how to charm them….

(YOUNG SHAKESPEARE waves his arms in the air and bows deeply and ingratiatingly to BEESTON)

……how to entertain them….

(YOUNG SHAKESPEARE whispers something into BEESTON’S ear.  BEESTON laughs. YOUNG SHAKESPEARE leads BEESTON to a chair)

……and how to make himself indispensable….

(At high-speed, SHAKESPEARE mimes combing BEESTON’S hair and beard, polishing his shoes, polishing his nails, then holding out a mirror for BEESTON  to inspect himself)

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

(Producing a long glove from his pocket) Anything for the weekend sir?

(Music stops. YOUNG SHAKESPEARE exits)

BEESTON

But The Moon persecuted Papists just as effectively in Lancashire as she did in Warwickshire. Will’s boss was imprisoned and Will himself had to flee back to Stratford. There he wooed Anne Hathaway, a woman ten years older than himself ….

(ANNE enters and sits demurely on a bench. YOUNG SHAKESPEARE enters, holding a bunch of flowers. He kneels beside her and gives her the flowers)

BEESTON

Anne yielded instantly…

(ANNE tosses away the flowers, grabs SHAKESPEARE and makes violent love to him)

ANNE

Oh Will! Oh Will! Will, Will, Will…..

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

Oh Anne! Oh Anne! Anne, Anne Anne….(He breaks off and feels in his pockets) Damn! No gloves! Oh what the hell…

(YOUNG SHAKESPEARE jumps back onto ANNE to ANNE’S delighted squeals. They exit, still fornicating, via the trapdoor)  

BEESTON

Nature had its way. Will did the decent thing and married Anne, who had a baby girl, Susanna. Will would escape from family life to The Bear Tavern in Bridge Street…

(FULL COMPANY OF SPIRITS, enter including JOHN SHAKESPEARE, carousing and dancing.  BEESTON becomes the Barman. A raucous tune is being played and people are dancing, stamping and clapping to it…YOUNG SHAKESPEARE enters with a paper and quill…JOHN SHAKESPEARE sees his son and shouts over the music…)

JOHN SHAKESPEARE

WHY AREN’T YOU AT HOME WITH ANNE AND THE BABY?

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

 IT’S QUIETER HERE!

(YOUNG SHAKESPEARE buys a pint tankard of ale from BEESTON and sits to write. The dance finishes and everyone cheers)

JOHN SHAKESPEARE

Will, make up words for that tune – EXTEMPORE – and I’ll buy you a pottle pot!

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

(Rising happily to his father’s challenge) Let’s hear it again! (People play and hum it through to him and YOUNG SHAKESPEARE drinks for inspiration…) Right! I’ll sing it and someone can write it down….

(Silence…then)

JOHN SHAKESPEARE

You’re the only one who can write here, son. You’re the only one who’s been to Grammar School….If you can sing it AND write it down, I’ll buy you TWO pottle pots!

(Cheers)

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

You’re on!

(The band start the tune once more as YOUNG SHAKESPEARE stands and sings…)

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

A Parliament member, a justice of peace,

At home a poor scarecrow in London an ass,

If Lucy is lousy as some volke miscall it

Sing Lousy Lucy whatever befall it…..

CHORUS repeat….

A Parliament member, a justice of peace,

At home a poor scarecrow in London an ass,

If Lucy is lousy as some volke miscall it

Sing Lousy Lucy whatever befall it…

(During the Chorus Repeat YOUNG SHAKESPEARE runs back to the table and writes down the lyrics he has just composed, takes a sip of ale then sings again…He repeats this throughout the song, getting drunker and drunker and staggering more and more)

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

He thinks himself great, yet an ass in his state,

We allow by his ears but with asses to mate….

CHORUS rpt.

If Lucy is lousy as some volke miscall it

Sing Lousy Lucy whatever befall it…

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

To the sessions he went and did sorely complain

His park had been robbed and his hares they were slain

CHORUS rpt.

If Lucy is lousy as some volke miscall it

Sing Lousy Lucy whatever befall it…

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

(by this time hardly able to stand or speak) If a juvenile frolic he cannot forgive

We’ll sing Lousy Lucy as long as we live

And Lucy the Lousy a libel may call it

We’ll sing Lousy Lucy whatever befall it…

CHORUS rpt.

 If a juvenile frolic he cannot forgive

We’ll sing Lousy Lucy as long as we live

And Lucy the Lousy a libel may call it

We’ll sing Lousy Lucy whatever befall it…

(YOUNG SHAKESPEARE manages somehow to get back to the table and write the last verse down…He then leads the company in a mad eccentric dance and finally holds aloft the completed ballad to cheers. JOHN SHAKESPEARE presents YOUNG SHAKESPEARE with a pottle pot. He downs it one.  Cheers.Then JOHN SHAKESPEARE presents him with a second)

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

Dad, a challenge!

(YOUNG SHAKESPEARE hands the tankard back to JOHN SHAKESPEARE.  JOHN SHAKESPEARE takes up the challenge – and to everyone’s cheers, down the tankard in one as well. The two men collapse, affectionately, into one another’s arms)

YOUNG SHAKESPEARE

And now, worthy cubs of The Bear Tavern, I shall hang this ballad on the gates of Sir Thomas Lucy’s estate!

(The company roars with laughter and JOHN SHAKESPEARE turns away to share the joke with a friend. YOUNG SHAKESPEARE quickly exits. Doubled over with laughter, JOHN SHAKESPEARE turns back to find his son has gone)

JOHN SHAKESPEARE

Will! (then frantic) WILL! (He rushes out.  All are aghast. He returns) Holy Mother of God. He meant it….

TO READ EPISODE TWO, PLEASE CLICK: HERE